Insanity Everywhere I Turn

Lately, I have been stretched so thin, and extremely stressed. Last week was probably the worst in a long time. I had a ton of work to do all week, but was only able to get a small amount done and get the rest semi-organized. Thursday, we had vistors from Atlanta in our office, so I spent the morning trying to make my desk look slightly more presentable. Friday, one of them was here again, the one I work with most closesly. I spent all morning and a large part of the afternoon with him trying to fix a problem. That turned out to be a huge waste of time. Oh well, it was still nice to get to work with him face to face rather than through e-mail or phone.

Thursday evening, Wil and I went to a work party (with my boss, the vistors and a few other people in the office and their spouses). Wil ended up sitting across from Russ, my boss, which made me a little scared since I've never really been around him in a non-work setting. I sat across from Melinda, who is the wife of one of Russ' work friends as well as the recruiter who placed me in my job. The dinner went very well and, thanks in a large part to Melinda's friendly-ness and talkitiveness, Wil and I had a great time and were able to talk without feeling awkward. Melinda was talking to Wil and I about wedding plans, where we'll leave, and what Wil does. When we explained that he currently doesn't have a job and is just going to school on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, she offered him a job for a week. Wil met with Melinda on Friday and got it all worked out.

Saturday was rough for me. Wil and I took Rain to the groomers, but I couldn't find her current vaccination records so we had to reschedule. We then took her to the vet because she has a fairly large lump on the side of her neck. It's been there for quite a while, didn't seem to bother her, and as far as we could tell, wasn't growing. Anyway, we decided to have it checked out. The vet and the vet tech both said that she seems to be in great shape. The vet told us that the lump could be three different things, first, a mass cell tumor (like a cancerous tumor in a human, but this is the dog version), second, a beign/fatty tumor that wasn't a big deal but could be removed if we wanted it to be, and third, it could be an infected cist, in which case they would either drain it, or it would eventually drain itself and be resolved. Of course, I was hoping for the 3rd option. It turns out that the lump is actually a mass cell tumor. While the vet went over what should be done, I listened and refused to look at Wil or Rain because I would have likely started crying. The vet left the room to get us an estimate of how much the surgery would cost to remove the tumor (while they did that, they'd look for others just to make sure she doesn't have on in her organs or anywhere else). Once she left, I broke down and cried on Wil's shoulder for a bit. He did what he could to comfort me and I was able to gain control before the vet tech came back in with the estimate and to walk us out so we could set up an appointment for the surgery. I've been trying hard not to think about it, but I'm scared to death that she'll have more tumors and they might not be able to remove them safely. I felt like kicking myself for not getting it checked sooner, but as Wil reminded, I didn't have the money to get her checked out then, let alone the money I'd need for the surgery. Anyway, her surgery is a week from Thursday. Wil has agreed to take her in while I go to work. I'll pick her up afterwards (scary thought).

Wil started his job today. He works 8 hours a day today through Friday in the excavation department at my work, Sinclair Oil. It's a great job oppertunity, even if it is only for a week and mainly involves filing and other mind-numbing tasts. He and I met for lunch and he seemed like he was doing well and was pleased with himself. I am so excited for him. Even if he doesn't end up getting a permanant position here at Sinclair, Melinda can hook him up with other temp jobs so he can get a variety of different jobs under his belt and hopefully find something he enjoys doing so he can turn that into a career.

Anyway, I have a massive pile (actually a few of them) of work that I still need to work on so I'll end this for now.

8 Things-Tagged by Toni

8 Things I am Passionate About:
1. My family
2. My friends
3. My dog :)
4. Music
5. Photography
6. Life
7. Books/Reading
8. Cooking for others/doing stuff for other people just because

8 Words or Phrases I Say Often:
1. Will do
2. That's so funny
3. I love you
4. Seriously
5. Tis true
6. Sure
7. What?
8. Ok

8 Things I want to do before I Die:
1. Get married (only 75 days!!)
2. Have kids
3. Go to Germany
4. Have my own photography business (even if it's not big)
5. See my grandkids
6. Own a house without a mortgage (it'll happen one of these days..)
7. Get completely out of debt
8. Get a degree (only 7 more weeks...)


8 Things I Have Learned From my Past:
1. Nothing worth having comes easily
2. You miss the little things the most, but don't realize it until they are gone
3. Even diamonds start as coal (the best things don't always start out so nice)
4. Drinking maple syrup straight from the bottle is not a good idea
5. Never say you don't like something you've never tried. Some of the scariest/worst looking things I've had tasted the best
6. It's fun to act like a kid. When you get the chance to let loose, be silly, act like a kid, or dance like a crazy person, do it!
7. Don't take anything too seriously
8. Make time to spend with your loved ones. It can always be done no matter how busy your life is.


8 Places I Would Love to Go or See:
1. Germany
2. Australia
3. Anything in Europe
4. The Grand Canyon
5. Disneyland/Disneyworld
6. Hawaii
7. Japan
8. New Zealand


8 Things I Currently Need or Want:
1. Money
2. To be out of debt (see #1)
3. To be done with school (so close....)
4. Gas (for my car..)
5. Ice cream
6. Time (to myself, to spend with Wil, to spend with Rain, and to get everything done that I have to do)
7. Sleep
8. The Office season 4

8 people I tag:
Jenn W, Dad, Steph, Angie/Nate, Sid, Wil (I doubt he'll do it though..), and anyone else who feels like it

Remembering Smokey

I found out some incredibly sad news yesterday. My mom's dog, Smokey, who has been in our family since she was 3 months old and would have been with us for 15 years next month, had to be put to sleep today. Smokey was the sweetest dog ever and one of the prettiest I'd ever seen.

Mom picked up Smokey at from the Humane Society. She was looking at the puppies and found two that she really liked. One was Smokey, the other was a Sheltie. Smokey was one of 8 in a litter of collie/border collie puppies, but she was the only one mom thought was cute. Another lady was looking at both puppies as well and since she got there first, mom told her to choose first and she would take the other one. Of course, the woman chose the Sheltie and we got Smokey. Mom picked me up from school with Smokey in the car. I was so excited to see that we'd gotten another dog. Dad didn't really want a dog in the house at all.

When the rest of the family got home, we all suggested different names for her. Jenn wanted something like Princess or Lady (can't remember for sure anymore), and the boys wanted something equally not right. I wanted her to be named Cocoa or something like that. None of us could agree on a name. Finally, mom said that the dog would be named by the one person who could care less about her, dad. Dad noticed that she had a black patch on her back and thought it looked kind of like thick smoke so he came up with the name Smokey.

Smokey was a very well behaved dog, in most ways. She would play with us and would never bite down on our hands even when they were completely in her mouth. She loved it when we'd feed her human food (which we did often). Mom would usually share a bag of M&M's with Smokey. The funniest (and saddest in a way) thing was when she ate an entire chocolate sheet cake. There was only one row of cake that didn't have chunks taken out of it. If we'd gotten home a few minutes later, the whole thing probably would have been gone. We threw it all out anyway since she'd probably been drooling on the whole thing.

Anyway, Smokey will definitely be missed. We all loved her. Even dad eventually put up with her and even began to love her too. I know that the person who will miss her the most is my mom. Smokey was always there for mom, especially when dad was out of town. It'll be hardest on mom. It's hard to walk into mom and dad's house and not see her sleeping lazily in the living room and waging her tail because she was insanely excited to see you.

I'll always love you Smokey.

Camping

So, last week was the 2nd annual family vacation for my family. We went camping near Preston, ID. It was a blast! All of us were there this year (parents, siblings, siblings families and Wil). We played games, listened to music (Jenn brought up speakers and we hooked iPods up to it), held our own Olympic games, and had an amazing showcase where we each had to perform two acts (one drawn in the morning and prepared throughout the day, one instant one). It was so much fun. It was hard to come back home and get back to work, school, and other responsibilities. I loved having Wil there and watching him interacting with my family. Everyone got along fine and everyone had fun.

This is a slide show of some of the many pictures I took.

Wedding Update

Well, as you can imagine, now that I am engaged, I have been working hard to figure out wedding details. I knew before hand that there would be a lot of things to think about and take care of, but it never really hit me until I had to start doing everything. Wil, being a typical guy, doesn't really care about any of it. He'll probably have an opinion on the food and that's about it. Even when I mention that, he says "Do what you want". I guess I should be grateful since I'm sure there are brides who wish their guy didn't have an opinion and they could do whatever they want. The problem I have with it is that there are times I REALLY want his input. I had no idea what I wanted to do at first (even now, I don't have much of an idea, just random thoughts), and I was hoping he might have some suggestions. No such luck.

Luckily, my brothers were smart with at least one thing in their lives (j/k guys, you know I love you) and married amazing women. Jenn and Steph (Jason and Josh's wives) have been amazing and are helping me with everything. Mom is there to gush and, let's be honest, to pay for everything (by the way Mom & Dad, have I told you how much I love you guys lately?).

I've been engaged for about 2 weeks now and I've already picked out the ceremony and reception area, decided on the wedding colors (black, dark purple, and a little silver), Wil picked his wedding band, Wil and I have our guest lists mostly decided on (just a few tweaks to make and addresses to get), our families have been informed and most of them have been given a "save the date" card, our engagement photos have been scheduled to be taken, I've decided on a caterer and she's already working on ideas for us, I've found a photographer, I've scheduled with 2 of my 3 bridesmaids to go look at dresses for them, and, the most exciting part, I've chosen a wedding dress. Wedding dress shopping was SO much fun. I had a hard time choosing between two dresses, but after standing in the one for a little while and seeing both dresses with a veil and tiara, the choice was clear. After taking a look at the pictures (Jenn took pictures so I could see the back of both), it was clear that I'd made the right choice. Mom said she knew I would get the dress I did as soon as I walked out in it. Jenn, Steph and I took a little longer to figure it out (it took me the longest of all four of us). Apparently, that was the easiest wedding dress shopping any of them had ever done. All of this is going MUCH more smoothly than I thought possible. It's amazing what you can get done when you have Jenn & Steph helping you (and the fact that I've been able to think of very little besides the wedding helps as well).

Wow, after all of that typing, I completely forget to mention the date of the wedding (I'm seriously scatter-brained). Anyway, there is still a whole lot to do, but I'm trying to concentrate on getting through work and school, and the preparations for the up-coming family camp out (it's going to be so much fun, and Wil gets to come with us this year!). Once the camp out is over, I'll get back to wedding planning, although I'll have to leave as much as I can (and as much as they are willing to do) to Jenn and Steph so I can get good grades and finish off my schooling before the wedding.

Everything is a little crazy at the moment, but I think I'm doing a good job of not going crazy. I haven't had a freak out lately, so that's good news. I'm really hoping that everything continues to run as smoothly as it has so far (wishful thinking, I know..).

So, now I should try to get my mind off of the wedding and get some more work done before leaving for the weekend. I just want to say another HUGE thank you to my family. You are all so amazing and have been so supportive about this, and have totally accepted Wil as part of the family. I love you all!

In the next post I'm hoping to put some pictures up of me and Wil together and our rings, but I don't know if that'll happen or not. We'll just have to see. :)

My ring

I realized I did not post any pictures when I wrote about my engagement. Part of that was because I forgot, the other part was because Wil was the one to take pictures and I hadn't gotten them from him yet. So, other than the pictures that are on my phone and that aren't very good, here are the only pictures we have of my ring. It's getting resized right now :( so I can't get more until next Wednesday. Anyway, I LOVE my ring and think it is so amazingly pretty. Enjoy!

Engaged!

For those of you who don't already know, which probably isn't very many of you at this point, I am now officially engaged. Wil proposed to me on 7/10/08 at sometime around 10 am. I know someone will ask, so I'll just tell the story. Since I am a writer, it'll be written as it would as an excerpt from a book (yes, I am aware that I am weird).

It was a normal July day. I woke up feeling miserable, so instead of going to work, I called in sick. I went back to bed and woke up a few hours later feeling marginally better, although still not feeling well. I figured I should work on homework while I wasn't at work. My computer happened to be at Wil's house since that was where I'd done homework the previous night. I headed over to Wil's.

When I got there, he was just waking up as well. We decided to go to IHOP to get some breakfast. Nate, and Peter's little brother, Andrew, went with us since they hadn't gone to sleep yet and were hungry. It was good, as it usually is. We got back and Nate and Andrew went back downstairs. Nate fell asleep in about 2 minutes. Andrew went back to playing Crack Down. I was getting ready to start on some homework, but then Wil asked if I would like to sit out in the sun for a little while with him. It was early in the day, so we wouldn't be sweating like pigs, and we don't normally do anything outside so I agreed.

We opted to sit on the porch swing, which is probably my favorite feature of his mom's house. We sat, and cuddled a little without really saying anything at first. Wil then began talking about how he can't seem to find the perfect moment to propose (we had picked out a ring last Saturday so I knew it was coming and it was driving me crazy). I was forced to remind him that I'd given him quite a few ideas. I even added a few new ones, like taking a walk down to the pond that is near his mom's house. He reminded me that there was a pond on the porch right in front of us (one of those little porch waterfall pools that is super cute) so we didn't have to go down to the gross pond full of ducks and geese.

At this point, he pulled some change out of his pocket commenting that he hated change and handing it to me. I gladly took the change and put it in my pocket then snuggled up to him again. We sat for a few more minutes while he started to play with my ring finger on my left hand. He knows that bugs me since I really wanted the ring we had picked out last Saturday. I glared at him and said, "Stop being such a brat". He just smiled and replied, "But being a brat is what I do."

We were still sitting on the porch swing. I was sitting on the left side of him and had my right arm around his neck and my right hand was resting on my legs, which we swung over his legs. His left arm was around my shoulders while his right hand played with my left hand (being the brat that he is). He kept playing with my left ring finger as we sat. He showed me his right hand which had a cheap ring on it of his that he wears often.

"Is this what you want?" he asked me, even though I'm sure he knew the answer already. I told him, "No, that's not what I want because it would be WAY too big on me and wouldn't look good at all".

Then he said, "Is this the one you want?" and was looking at his left hand. I looked too and saw that he was holding the ring we had picked out.

I was excited now and said, "Yes!"

He grinned and said, "You can only have it if you plan to wear it forever." I replied, with an ear to ear grin, "It's so shiny that I think I can handle that."

He placed it on my finger and held my hand, and said, while looking into my eyes, "I forgot to mention. I come with the ring." I grinned again and said, "It's pretty enough that I think I can handle having to keep you too."

"You'll have to promise to keep both forever," he told me (both meaning him and the ring). I gave my promise and we hugged and he kissed me.

We sat there for a while longer just looking at the ring and swinging on the swing. A few minutes later, Andrew came out to inform us that he'd left his phone at IHOP. So, Wil and I went with Andrew to go get his phone (the car he and Peter use was broken so Wil needed to drive him and I didn't want to be away from him at that moment). After that, the day progressed with nothing really interesting happening. Neither of us were feeling all that well so we spent most of the day napping or just doing very little. It's kind of funny that we became engaged on a day when neither of us was feeling all that great. That's ok though. It was still a good day.